How can that little child smile??

I can see a little child, she's so happy! She smiles like every day's the best day. I can't even remember this childhood happiness, and I'm only fourteen. I can't remember how it's to live without any concerns. How it's to liv in your own little bubble. I want to be that little child again, no worries. As I grow older and older, I understand more and more about responsibility. But I don't want to know about such things. I could wish that we could live happily ever after, without knowing 2 + 2 = 4, or knowing that earth might get destroyed one day. Why do we have to know such things!?? I want to be a small child again, when I actually were one of the tallest in class, when I was shy. I can remember it now! I was the smart little girl that was so shy! I was kind of a bookworm.. Ouch, that hurts.. And I was very boyish.. Heh heh.. I did the stuff the guys did, girl stuff was for losers! I've became everything else then what most people thought of me. Look at me now! Most of the people thought that I would become a little princess, the nerd or the guy buddy. It's a bit embarrassing to say stuff like that, but I'm proud of my self! I know that I'm not like everyone else in the world.. But still, I don't know what I am, or who I am.. I don't like this state of being a teenager! When you was a little child, nothing mattered.. And when I grow up, I jut hope for me to find my place in society and live happily ever after. I want to become a psychologist! Or something in the subject of journalism, or something with photo! Since my childhood dream of becoming a world famous designer's broken.. Yeah, but you see it.. But mostly I want to become something like a psychologist. And I've already begun to plan my weddingdress! I feel so pathetic --" but I love dress', that's another thing that not everyone knows a about me, and I love wearing skirts! I don't know why, but it's jut like so. But still.. I have my whole life in front of me :) And I want YOU to take part in it! Tihi <3